The Gray Matter
I've not shared this publicly. I'm not comfortable sharing it, but maybe it's time. If someone told me what I'm about to tell you, I'd listen, be intrigued, but think they were making it up. I sort of wish I were making it up. It'd be easy to forget because most dreams are forgettable.
On the few occasions when I've told someone, [my dad, my kids, and my husband] I couched it as a dream. It certainly could have been and that's more comforting to believe. That doesn't make it a dream, but it's easier to think of it that way. So, I will stick with that but note the parts that felt too real.
One night, as I slept [first reason pointing toward a dream], I woke to find myself standing outside beneath a streetlight, on a sidewalk, waiting for something. It was the middle of the night in what I thought was North Dakota. I had previously lived in North Dakota but at the time of the dream, I did not.
I glanced to my left and there stood another lady in her nightgown! I grimaced and wondered why she would be outside in her pajamas [not quite a typical dream as I realized I could think and question]. I noticed her tilting her head back to look at the sky and turned my attention in the same direction.
At first, I saw the brilliant night sky speckled with sparkling stars. Then, something seemed to block out a chunk of the sky. Focusing harder, a triangle shape appeared. It was enormous! Startled and a little excited, I jerked my attention back to the lady to see if she saw it too, but she was gone.
When I returned my focus to the object, it had descended to maybe six to ten feet above me [1.8
meters - 3 meters]. I'm not great with distance so it could have been a few feet different on either end. It was close, however, not close enough to touch. I wasn't able to see the edges of the object anymore. There were four lights; three in each corner and one larger one in the center. I couldn't tell what was making the light. In other words, I didn't see a bulb or tube but rather there was just a glow coming from these parts. Also, there was no sound that I could discern.
While scanning the underbelly of this object (which everything was dark and I could not see much), a bluish-white light surrounded me like a tube. Before I could question it, move from it, I
was transported inside. First I was on the sidewalk, then I was not. In the blink of an eye...
Everything in my body was hyped, from my pulse, to my breathing. I couldn't hear because the throbbing in my ears was loud. I had no idea where I was. My body was shaking. I glanced around the room. It was sort of gray or tarnished silver. It looked like some kind of metal, but I don't have any way to know. The lighting was dim and soft. There were no pictures or decoration — bare walls and floor. As my gaze swept the room, it landed on a being. Had this thing been there all along?
It was not gray, not completely. To me, it looked more like a light brown or tan and gray. It's head was like an upside down lightbulb. I didn't notice a nose. The mouth was literally a line. No lips. No movement from the mouth. The eyes were the infamous tear drop black. Maybe because it looked bug-like it's alarming. We humans have a natural aversion to bugs, I think, at least I do. And when something as tall as you [I'm 5'2"/1.5meters] with bug-like eyes stares back, well, you want to run away. Except, there was no where to run.
I watched this being and I knew it to be female. How did I know that? Maybe I made it up in my dream. I didn't see any obvious anatomical body parts that distinguished it. But something looked off. My gaze washed over this creature who stood there, solemn and quiet. I kept thinking something wasn't right and then it hit me! She had hair! I thought, "You're not supposed to have hair." And with that thought I knew she did it to make me more comfortable, as if she knew her appearance would upset me, her solution was to add something to minimize my discomfort. It didn't work.
In my head, the phrase, "Oh my God, they're real," kept repeating. It was my own and it was incessant. I couldn't wrap my head around what I was seeing. I couldn't understand why I was here and where here was. I remembered being asleep, and so I rationalized [I don't usually do that in my dreams, do you?] that I must be dreaming. But here is the other twist — I uttered my first sentence aloud.
"Am I dreaming?"
I didn't expect an answer, but I got one. Inside my head, I heard a feminine tone, "No, you are not dreaming." I stared at this being's face and her mouth never moved. I never saw her blink, either. How did I know it was her? Maybe it was coming from a speaker somewhere? But I am supposed to be in my room, in my bed. Why would there be a speaker in my bedroom? Everything tumbled together, and I got really nervous. I think, while I was busy analyzing the being and the room, my body must have quieted temporarily, but the second I was done, my emotions resurfaced.
I asked verbally, "Where's the other woman?" Probably worried for my own safety, I wondered if my fate would be as hers was.
She's not your concern. Don't worry about her. She's on her own tour. This thought or knowing came into my mind.
I wiped my hand on my thigh and realized, I, like the other woman, was wearing my nightgown. The air in the room was different than the air outside and I remember thinking how odd it was that if I were dreaming I'd notice the air. However, I did. I was perspiring, which I guess was probably my nerves. My gown was white flannel with tiny, light blue flowers on it. For some reason, this gave me another foundation of reality.
I looked back at the being; she hadn't moved. I got the impression that I wouldn't be hurt or I came to that realization. Sort of like, if they wanted to hurt me, they'd have done so already. But she made no move to touch me or call anyone else. Nothing. A part of me became fascinated and the fear was set aside. I couldn't believe they were real and that thought returned, ad nauseum.
I felt her smile and appreciation for accepting she was real. I never saw her mouth move, but I knew she was pleased with my reaction. Then:
Would you like your own tour now?
I don't remember responding, but we began to move as a sense of calm swept over me. Today, I think this was her doing, not mine. She took the lead and walked to a wall behind me. As we approached it, it slid open from left to right, silently. As I write this, I can't recall the feeling of the air. I can't tell you if it was light, heavy, etc. I do know that at the time there was something weird with the air and it changed again once we stepped from this room into the corridor. I do know it was warmer in the small room and the hallway was a little cooler. I was thankful for that.
The corridor was much like the room I left. A light gray or silver wall lined the hall, but it seemed brighter out here. As we moved, I felt like this was a reward, a present she was giving me. At the end of the tour, I would receive something. It excited me, and I felt honored, happy, even. In turn, I felt her pleasure at my reaction. The hall sort of curved, which I couldn't reconcile as I knew the object had been angular. Yet, the wall curved a bit. As we stepped around the corner, or rather the wall ended, the area opened wide.
A brilliant white light was everywhere. It wasn't harsh like the sun, and I didn't have to squint. I had no idea from where the light emanated. There were no lamps or bulbs. It seemed to just be there. There were beings like her walking around. Not a lot of them. Maybe a handful. Why this didn't shock me or send me running, I have no idea. Maybe she was still making me calm? One being had a sort of skintight jumpsuit on, don't recall the color now. He was carrying a clipboard of sorts. No, it wasn't wooden like ours, but clear. He looked at me and moved on. Far in the back of the space was a see-through tube. It looked like an elevator, but I have no idea. A being stepped in and went up. Plants were around the tube; I didn't recognize them. It looked like an area where people might congregate or pass through. No furniture. No pictures. It was barren in that way.
We continued on and the hallway curved on the left around this open space. So, the hallway went behind the open area. Each time I wondered about my 'gift' I'd sense I was going to see a family member that had died, which I took to mean one of my grandparents. This made me very happy. Did I question what my dead grandmother or pap would be doing on an alien spaceship? Nope.
Behind the open space, there were doors, so to speak, or entryways. We were headed to the end of the hall. Approaching this I became elated and eager. My 'tour guide' was tickled at my happiness. There was a steady and open exchange of emotion from the time we left the tiny room. In front of me was a very large room. It looked like an airport waiting area.
There weren't any windows. But in the center of this room (oddly) were numerous chairs. Their bases (legs and connecting parts) were metal. Their seats were all the same color and appeared synthetic, like plastic. They reminded me of the chairs in elementary school. Row after row of chairs contained color photographs resting on the seats.
But that didn't alarm me because I thought I was going to see my grandparents. So, I kept walking past row one, five, ten. Until I got many rows back and she stopped. Lifting her right arm that looked like a twig, she motioned that I should go into this row of chairs. Still not alarmed, I shuffled in, then stopped halfway when I sensed I was supposed to.
I kept looking at the last row of seats expecting my grandparent(s) to step out from behind something and show themselves. Yet, the being directed my attention (all with a feeling and no words) to the chairs in front of me. I once was able to see detail, now I cannot. On the chair, like all others, there were color photographs. On the left chair, was a man. He had darker skin than
me, dark eyes, dark head of hair that was parted. [This is NOT the person. He's too young. The one I saw didn't have a moustache. The guy I saw had more hair on his forehead. No smile in the photo I looked at. Face was wide like this guy's.] I took him to be Indian, from India or maybe Pakistan. The photo on the right chair, next to his, was a female. She had very long, dark hair, pulled back in a ponytail, I guess or bun, similar skin tone and eye color to the man. I think, but may be I inserted this, her forehead had an orange or reddish dot.
I was asked specifically telepathically, "Do you know them?"
Confused, I shook my head no, then everything went downhill rapidly.
~part 2~
